The toilet strikes back...

Back again. I had meant to update a few days back, but my dodgy, cheap ass hostel didn't have any internet connection, so I was left more or less stranded for a couple of days whilst I was in Assisi! Also by dodgy, cheap ass hostel, I don’t mean your hostel Adriana, in case you read this! It was the second hostel I stayed at in Assisi. Anywho. I'm back in Milan now, and have a few days between here and London, so I figured this would be a perfect time to update you all on my going-ons. Enjoy! 

Assisi

So I went on back down to the leather market the morning following our karaoke shenanigans, and discovered I have a gift for haggling. I purchased gifts for most of my family at fairly discounted prices. My favourite catch was a leather jacket for me, down to 85 euro from 529. To be fair, there's no way they were ever going to seriously sell it for 529, and even his opening 'discount' price was closer to 200 euro, but hey. I'm not at all complaining about the final price of 85! We (and by we I mean myself and 2 other Australians I met in the hostel) spent the rest of the day seeing a few other parts of Florence, checking out some cool stores and enjoying the sunshine with some freaking good gelato. After a good 5 or so hours of wandering, and having spent a good hour failing at finding the Piazzale Michelangelo, the two others headed home. I spent another hour and a half both locating and then proceeding to climb the stairs up to the Piazzale Michelangelo, which resulted in getting an awesome view of Florence. I'm seriously disappointed that my phone had gone flat at this point, which not only made getting home difficult, but it also made it impossible to get any cool snaps from up there. The view was incredible though. I headed home that night, got some sleep and spent the next morning (early rise) checking out the Uffizzi Gallery before making my way to the train. The Uffizzi gallery is one of the largest museums in Europe, and one of the oldest in the world. Fair to say, it was home to some spectacular art pieces such as the ever so famous ‘Birth of Venus’. 

Exploring Florence with these guys...
Dat face though.

One train ride and a few hours later, you would have found me in Assisi. I cleverly decided upon arrival that I couldn't be bothered taking a taxi and was happy enough to spend what I thought would be the next 45 minutes or so walking to the hostel. I was so, so wrong. What my phone guaranteed would be no longer than an hour or so, ended up being somewhat closer to 3 and a half hours walking down quite a few long, footpath-less streets with my luggage, backpack, and what was literally a fistful of bags containing my spoils from the afore mentioned leather market. I have never so delicately balanced bag after bag over my shoulders as I walked what was close to 4 hours through the rain towards my oh so desirable hostel. Insert sarcasm face here. Welcome to backpacking I guess? A short check in followed by a ceremonial dumping of bags and movie viewing was followed by a wonderful sleep. The first time I'd slept alone in a room for over a month!

Sunrise in Assisi

The next day I was picked up late morning by a friend I have down in Assisi. I was treated to lunch by her family (so good, like mana from heaven minus having to wander a desert) and was then toured around the city by her wonderful family! We visited the Eremo of San Francesco, Roca Maggiore (a large castle standing above Assisi), and a few more churches around Assisi, as well as a museum run by her mother. All in all quite a nice day! I would love to go in to more detail about Assisi, but there is that much to tell that I’m going to skim over it in the blog. Please email me or ask me about it when I return- seriously spectacular place and I would love to talk about it with whoever is interested! Onwards- I especially enjoyed seeing the Eremo, a small retreat in the mountain where Saint Francis spent the bulk of his time. The best little spots in the Eremo were all blocked off, such as his favourite spot to pray or sit, so… as you could imagine… I did end up climbing over/under/around a few little gates and barriers to check some stuff out. Not that I'd totally consent to this- it's probably not a good idea, but being one of the places I was more excited to see in Italy I figured that it might be somewhat justifiable! That night we went out with some of her friends, checked out a local church and then went on to a pizza restaurant/80s themed party. Rockin out to Johnny B. Goode. Ohh yeah.

View from the Eremo

Again the next day was a similar routine, with a few new churches (Assisi is literally buzzing with churches being the birth place of 3 different saints). The Church of San Damiano was quite nice, as well as Basilica di Santa Maria degli Angeli. Santa Maria degli Angeli is a church with a church insideit. Churcheption. We then proceeded with a nice stroll through Assisi and a visit to the Basilica di SanFrancesco d’Assisi, where Saint Francis is buried. This whole basilica was just incredible- art covered ceilings and chapels lining the aisles. Gorgeous. As the sun began to set we promptly made our way to a small restaurant just across from the basilica. I discovered this restaurant looking around Assisi via Google Maps like 6-7 months ago, and instantly decided ‘in 6 months time when I’m in Italy, I’m going to go there’, which I did. Fantastic view of the sunset over the mountains as we sipped on a fantastic coffee and pulled apart a lemon-cream filled croissant. Sooo good. That evening we popped down to another restaurant for a slow paced dinner and spent some time talking (completely in Italian- apparently I’m improving) and enjoying an awesome hot chocolate. I concede that the following recount of my restaurant experience will be the only toilet humor in this blog. No pun intended. This restaurant, instead of using toilet paper, used some messed up high pressure hose which you’re basically supposed to spray your ass with and leave. Of course I had no idea, so I’m looking at this hose imaging it must be some kind of talcum powder/soap dispenser or something. Facing the nozzle down I gently squeezed the trigger and just like that, this atrocious metal nozzle spewed forth a jet of water with the force of a thousand suns. Walls, ceiling, floor and pants- totally soaked. With a face of absolute horror I quickly pants-up’d and made a dash for the paper towel, which had conveniently run out. USING THE DIRTY HAND WASH PAPER TOWELS I proceeded to mop up as much of the floor as I could before wrapping my face in a scarf (in order to remain anonymous) and exited the toilet with the kind of poker face that would put Lady Gaga to shame. I feel so sorry for the lady who entered straight after me. I kept the scarf around my face for most of the rest of the night, being as our table was located right at the toilet door, and avidly spent the remainder of the evening avoiding eye contact with other toilet goers. Not awesome. Fast forward to being driven back to the hostel.

The view from this awesome little restaurant!

Unfortunately, I had not yet payed for the hostel, and the manager was neither awake when I arrived back that evening nor was he awake the next morning as I left (around 5:30am for a 6am train)... so as you can imagine I had a very disgruntled call from the owner the next day as I sat happily on my train, about how I’m a disgraceful person for leaving without having paid. I had searched for him in the morning but had no idea where he slept, so I snuck out the front door leaving a note which basically read ‘Sorry I haven’t payed, I’ll sort it out on the train’… unfortunately my note didn’t really smooth things over on the anger side of things. I am very fortunate however to have had this sorted out by my friends back in Assisi. Do note it is quite out of character for me to leave a hostel without paying. I’m not normally a criminal! I got home that day, had some lunch and spent most of the day resting and going on to organise my rapidly approaching trip to London (which may now have evolved to include some of Portugal!). Exciting stuff! Yesterday I continued planning and booking, and also had the opportunity to check out Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Last Supper”, which was quite spectacular, and also somewhat larger than I had expected, as has been the case with a lot of things in Italy.

My post toilet destruction disguise. I must never be found.
This shame dies with me.

I look forward to my next update, which fortune permitting, will be coming from London! Ciao for now! 

And may the odds be ever in your favor...